6 Warning Signs of Divorce
January 31, 2011 by admin · Leave a Comment
Are there warning signs of divorce in your future? If you are against it, then you need to do something about it immediately, rather than hope the problems will go away. Ignoring your problems will not make them disappear. They will just fester to the point here you will be forced to deal with a worse situation.
This is not the time to have a soft heart and ignorant of the problems. It is best to take care of the matters immediately. Love can blind you to the symptoms that are creating your marriage pitfalls. There is no excuse for ignorance because those small troubled areas can become big problems.
Let’s look at just six warning signs that your marriage could be in trouble!
1.) The fire has disappeared from your relationship. Whenever you’re around each other, things seem to be even more stressful.
2.) You feel so relieved when your spouse leaves the house. You realize you would rather be alone than to be in the company of your spouse.
3.) You find unresolved incompatibilities that add stress to your marriage.
For example, there are different opinions on how to handle finances; one spouse tries to save, invest and plan for the future while the other mate spends like there is no tomorrow.
Perfectionism can be another problem which adds to the stress of the marriage. When each of the parties never seem to be wrong and consistently blames the other, you will find the troubles mount and the tensions grow.
4.) You won’t talk about plans for the future as you only focus on the current issues.
5.) You never have anything nice to say about each other. Criticizing has become an everyday component of the relationship. You feel as if you can’t do anything right. This makes you withdraw and feel there is nothing you can do to save the marriage.
6.) The sexual attraction has disappeared from your relationship. This is certainly a touchy situation because it could be a sign that one of the parties might be having an affair.
If you detect one or more of these warning signs of divorce, don’t just ignore the situation. Resolve the problems today. This could be the difference between saving your marriage and family or getting a divorce.
What Is True Love?
May 24, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
The true source of fulfilling and satisfying loving relationships is not from seeking love, but is found within ourselves. Our own thoughts, expectations and behaviors determine the quality of true love we experience in our lives.
We can recognize true love as it is always empowering. True love gives, without expectations or demands in return. True love comes from a place within ourselves and expresses concern, kindness and joyfulness.
We know if we are experiencing true love by how we feel and act. Feeling needy, yearning to control or manipulate, planning or scheming to punish someone because they have disappointed us are not traits of true love.
Constantly finding flaws instead of acceptance, being possessive or jealous, and experiencing fright or sadness are all weaknesses that fill us with fear, anger and resentment. We can recognize that these feelings are not caused by true love.
These feelings are all generated by seeking to receive love from someone else. But we cannot get true love by demanding it or trying to force someone to love us. Love is never found with demands or ultimatums.
It is impossible to have true love by seeking it from someone else. These feelings make powerless victims out of us so we think our happiness is wholly dependent upon someone else behaving in a certain way. Only a relationship with God will give us true happiness.
If we find ourselves in this situation, the good news is, we don’t have to remain in this vulnerable state that controls and weakens us. True love is within ourselves, and as we recognize this true love from God, we are able to discover enormous joy, comfort, kindness and happiness.
As we discover this power of true love, we will stop seeking love from outside of ourselves. We will know that our source of happiness is not dependent on the behaviors of someone else, but how our love is managed within ourselves, through God’s love for us.
We, with our faith in God, are the only ones that create our own happiness. Our own happiness and contentment will cause us to serve another unselfishly, thereby receiving true love we want in return.
You Really Can Be Romantic
May 24, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
Why is it that so many people believe that they don’t have time or take the initiative to be romantic? Maybe most people don’t believe that they are creative enough to be romantic. Everyone is creative!
Gifts that are considered to be traditionally romantic like candy and flowers are wonderful, but sometimes you need something that goes one step further. If your spouse enjoys flowers, you don’t have to settle for roses because they can sometimes become unexciting after a while.
Present them with something completely original such as a daisy or another flower where petals can be counted. Ask them to play the childhood game of ‘they love me, they love me not’ and watch them pluck the petals as they go.
However, don’t allow for the possibility of him or her arriving at the ‘they love me not’. Count the petals before you present the flower to your spouse and trim it so that there is an odd number of petals for the right outcome.
Arts and crafts used to be a fun break from the monotony of the school day, but believe it or not, it will come in handy when it comes to creative romantic gestures. Instead of promising that you will love him or her forever, show them.
Creativity comes in many different forms. Being creative can mean creating an atmosphere. If you want to plan the ultimate romantic evening but funds are low or you simply don’t want to have to leave the house.
Shut off the lights and imitate a power outage. You won’t have any distractions or heat, so it is up to both of you to keep the other warm and entertain each other.
Maybe romance is on your mind, but they are going out of town. Did you know that people on airplanes are typically hopeless romantics? Any flight attendant would be more than happy to make sure that your spouse receives a special present after the flight has left the ground.
Simply approach a crew member after your spouse boards the plane and they are usually more than happy to oblige a hopeless romantic like you. You might want to make sure that the gift is unwrapped or keep it to a single rose due to heightened security.
Creativity doesn’t have to come in the form of gifts every single time. Gestures like getting up and dancing with your spouse when a special song comes on the radio or TV is quite creative and incredibly romantic. Whenever the mood strikes you, allow your creative juices to flow!
Why Lovers Hurt The Ones They Love
May 24, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
Someone who claims to be “in love”, should never hurt the love of their life. Love demands that you care deeply for your beloved. You should be concerned about their feelings and make them as contented as possible.
You need to keep them as happy as possible fulfilling their dreams. Encourage them during tough times and always be there for them. If you don’t do these simple thing, then maybe your love is not as strong as you think.
This does happen in many relationships all through life. These couples do not have to worry to know about heaven. Their home is heaven. But some relationships, if a lover wishes to break away for any reason including feelings of being treated unjust, the results will be heartbreaking.
Let’s look at what can happen. As the lover who wishes to break away remembers all the investments they made for the love, they will feel that all was a waste. All the sacrifices were in vain. They did so much for many years, and now look at the result.
This frustration and anger is directed towards the partner. At that time the lover who is breaking away forgets that worse can happen to the one they are leaving. Only selfish thoughts occupy their mind.
This is the tragedy of such love. The one who is left behind might have made more sacrifices and given a lot more to the relationship. They are puzzled as to why this break up is happening. It is like a sudden earthquake. That is why I asked, that if you love someone, why would you hurt them?
Reconcile or Move On, How to Decide
May 24, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
Should I Reconcile? You are older and wiser now, with experience, and a decision to make.
Your desire to reconcile is often a desire to live a dream. To revive your passions and the hopes you lived in the beginning. To return to Go and start over with a new chance.
Perhaps reconciliation is not only your desire, but forced upon you by others. Forced upon you by silent and sullen children. Forced upon you by a repentant spouse, full of promises and needs greater than your own. Forced upon you by family, religion, and tradition of the day.
Should I reconcile? Should I accept the hurt, the pain, and call it a day? Can I face the unknown, or is there more comfort in this familiar but battered arena? Yes, you are older and wiser now, with a decision to make.
How do you Decide?
On a blank piece of paper, across the top draw a single line, and down the center draw another line. At the top on one side write the word STAY. The other side put MOVE ON.
There is no secret or trick to this; simply write down every reason or excuse for saving or ending your marriage. Writing down one reason leads to another and another, the list can reach several reasons in no time. The point is to jot down the pros and cons. Your list might take a life of its own, growing hour by hour, day by day.
At least three things will happen.
- You will come to a decision.
- You will have realization of the issues.
- You have the start of a plan of action
Staying means taking action and making one more commitment to your marriage. That commitment is not yours alone. You both have issues to resolve. It is not advisable to take the easy way out by ignoring the issues. Face them head on.
Pay the price of hard work and honest communication. Without it, couples often fall back into old habits. A recommendable course of action is joint marriage counseling, and in many cases joint financial counseling.
Moving on means acceptance, and closes the option of going back into the marriage. While it may be sad, it also frees you to look to your future without the complications of all the “what if’s”.
Moving on can be like passing Go and collecting $200, knowing the next trip around the block might be better than the last.
In the game of romance, few things are ever black and white. Most of the points above are assumptions based on commonly used techniques. There is room for interpretations and misunderstandings but all this can make you wonder if everything is all right and discuss the problems you have.
Love Is Saying You’re Sorry When You Are Wrong
May 11, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
For some reason we don’t like to say it, we don’t always mean it and when we do think of it, it’s never often enough. We seem to be a society that finds it hard to admit our faults, even when we ARE wrong. Love is saying you’re sorry and meaning it from the heart.
It says something about society when we question the need to apologize, even in our closest relationships? If saying we’re sorry exposes us to confrontation or scrutiny, shouldn’t we be willing to accept that from our loved ones?
If people feel that saying they are sorry diminishes the respect they receive from others, or brings their judgment (and their intelligence) into question - what kind of people CAN apologize freely?
Perhaps the answer lies deeper than a person’s perception of how they’ll be viewed. What are the reasons for apologies?
Dr. Aaron Lazare tells his thoughts on the motives for apologies in an article entitled, ‘Go Ahead, Say Your Sorry’, published by Psychology Today. He indicates two positive reasons we apologize include, the desire to restore or salvage a relationship or diminish the pain you’ve caused someone.
The less admirable reasons for an apology he indicates include the desire to escape punishment or the need to clear a guilty conscience - whether the other party was offended or not.
Clearly the first two positive reasons for apologizing goes a long way towards creating happy, healthy relationships. Whether we are brought up to believe in admitting our guilt or not, taking a humble view of ourselves in order to benefit a relationship or an individual whom we’ve hurt is critical in maintaining respect for each other.
While some individuals may not require apologies from their partners, there is a certain loss of respect between the couple when one is not offered. The hurt partner has not gotten their pain acknowledged by the one they love. The offender now lives with the guilt or may start to believe their partner is not worthy of such acknowledgment.
In either case, the relationship suffers. On the other hand, frequent offenders may do too much apologizing. Their constant display of a guilty conscience forces the hurt partner to accept behavior that they should be questioning or challenging. Why can’t we see that love is saying you’re sorry when you’re wrong?
Accepting each other, through bad times and good, is a big part of a loving and. Not making note of our mate’s mistakes or judging each others weaknesses certainly has its place. But if you are willing to apologize for your lack of responsibility or good judgment; this will strengthen, rather than weaken, the bonds of a healthy relationship.
God’s Purpose For Marriage
May 11, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
It is discouraging to see so many marriages that are in turmoil these days, and it is especially frustrating to see them end up as messy divorces.
Without knowing the purpose of marriage, we will likely misuse or abuse it. Anytime anything is used wrongly or contrary to its intended use, we have frustrated the purpose for which it was intended and therefore misused it.
Before we discuss what the purpose of marriage is, lets talk about a couple reasons NOT to get married. You should not get married “To Be Happy”. People, places and things cannot make you happy. Only a relationship with God will do that.
Another reason NOT to get married is to “Escape Problems”. If you get married to escape problems, you are just creating more problems. As an example, a young girl says she wants to get married to get out from under her parents authority, especially her dad’s. If she will rebel against her dad’s authority, what makes you think she won’t rebel against yours?
Now, why did God create and ordain marriage between one man and one woman? Lets discuss 5 biblical purposes God created marriage.
1. To Avoid Fornication. (I Corinthians 7:2) “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” Marriage is the arena by which God ordains that we express our sexuality.
2. Procreation And Rearing Functional Children. Morality must start at home. It is in our homes our children should be learning about the values of life. Parents should be teaching them about authority, about accountability, how to become functional members of the church and society.
3. To Serve And Love Another. Another purpose of marriage is for you to serve another. (I Corinthians 7:32-34) says that a single man or woman cares for the things of the Lord so that they may please the Lord, but the man and woman that is married, must care for the things of the world to please their mate.
4. For Two To Become One. Female, according to (Genesis 2), came out of male. Eve came out of Adam. And God brought them back together and made them one, in marriage; male and female.
5. Husbands And Wives Are As Christ And The Church. The home is a reflection of Christ and the Church. That’s why it is supposed to have a male and female, a husband and wife. We are the bride of Jesus and he is our husband. The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church.
Learning and understanding God’s purpose for marriage will have a profound affect on your marriage. Stronger marriages lead to stronger families whereby producing functional, God fearing children who will pass on their Godly values to their children.
Relationship Advice To Help You Get Your Ex Back
March 31, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
If you have recently gone through a breakup and you want to reverse the situation and get back with your partner, there is relationship advice out there that may help you accomplish your goal. The majority of break ups are reversible and if you arm yourself with knowledge, you can have your ex back in no time.
You never want to appear needy in the midst of a breakup. You want to remain as strong as you possibly can. Neediness is an unattractive quality to the majority of people and you want to refrain from these types of tactics. You have to clearly communicate that you want to be back with the person you are separated from, but you can do this without appearing weak.
You may find advice that will guide you to make your ex jealous. You need to be very careful when using this type of advice. Your ex may make the assumption that you have simply moved on and do the same. You may want to think twice about making an ex jealous in order to get them back; this could easily backfire on you quickly.
You should always take full responsibility for your part of the breakup. Most people are pretty good at determining sincerity and you should be very honest and open when you are speaking with your ex and this is not the time to point out their faults.
There is a ton of relationship advice out there to help you with your journey, just make sure that it is something that will benefit your relationship and not tear it apart even further.
Summary: Relationship advice can help you take the steps to getting your ex back. There are some good tips out there if you look hard enough. You also need to know what not to do. You can find out more about getting your ex back quickly.
Get Your Ex Back Quick With These Simple Steps
March 31, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
A breakup can cause a tremendous amount of pain if you do not want it to happen. There are several things you can do to help you get your ex back and you can make this happen if you gain the knowledge.
The first thing you want to do to reestablish your relationship is to not appear desperate. You do not ever want desperation to take you over as this can make you behave in ways you normally would not. This can make your ex think you are crazy and is also a real turn off and will not help you at all.
You need to give your ex space and ensure that you do not crowd them or make them feel suffocated. This is a very hard step if you do not want the breakup, but is essential in the long run to get what you want. The old saying about absence making the heart grow is definitely true and your ex may soon learn that they cannot live without you if you are unavailable to them for a while.
When you do finally talk to your ex, you may still have negative feelings, this is not the time to vent them. Upon your first few meetings, you need to make sure that you are at your nicest behavior and do not cause any conflicts.
You can get your ex back if you know how to do it right. You may want to explore several techniques and find what you think would work best for your personal situation.
Summary: A breakup is a very hard situation to deal with. If you want to get your ex back there are techniques you can use to help you accomplish your goal. If you take your time and do it right, you can have your relationship back in no time. You can find out more now about a breakup remedy.
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Easily
March 31, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
If you are in the midst of a break up, you may be wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back. There are several tips you can take that may help you get your ex back. You have to be careful which advice you use as you do not want to chase him off even further.
The top thing you can do to get your ex back is to stay away for awhile. You want him to see what life is without you, and he will soon realize how much he really needs you. You should be as unavailable as you can possibly stand. You want him to wonder what you are doing and who you are with.
When you do start talking to your ex again, you will want to focus on what he is feeling and try to keep your own feelings at bay in the beginning. There will be plenty of time to sort things out and you want to show him you care about him by focusing on his feelings. This may make him realize that you truly do care about him and help him see you in a new caring way.
You may want to do some nice things for him while he is considering being with you. You do not want to become overbearing, but there are many small things you can do to let him know you are there and that you care.
There are many tips when it comes to how to get your ex boyfriend back and you want to make sure that you choose the ones that are not toxic.
Summary: How to get your ex boyfriend back can come in many forms. You may need to sort through a tremendous amount of information to find something that works for you. You can find out more now about fixing your own relationship.